10 Reasons Why I No Longer Study Literature

This semester, I’m enrolled in a class on using literature in the language classroom. Consequently, I’ve re-plunged, for the moment, into the theories and conventions and that marked my undergraduate degree in English.

And ick.

I’m taking my masters in second language teaching, a social science and welcome reprieve. The social sciences, I’m finding, are a disciplined, problem-based search for knowledge. The academic study of literature, in contrast, is generally a playground for politically-charged ideologies and obscurity.

This ought not to be.

Of course, not all branches of literature are so tangled. The literature as medicine movement, for example, has established some legitimacy, thanks to scholars like Arnold Weinstein. Cultural studies also have their virtues. Nonetheless, I decided to study literature no longer, and here are my personal reasons why:

10. I don’t care anymore about what Freud thought. Psychologists don’t, either.

9. If a novel, play, short story, or poem doesn’t speak to me, I maintain the right to stop reading.

8. Nietzsche was right — poets lie too much.

7. Hamlet was nuts. Must we beleaguer the point?

6. I don’t get Faulker.

5. Transcendental signifiers do exist. Sorry, Derrida.

4. The GRE subject test for literature is arbitrary, and the English professorship is super-saturated.

3. The literary present defies physics.

2. I’ve developed a horrible allergy to the prefix “post-.”

1. Reading’s supposed to be fun.

In short, I no longer study literature. I simply enjoy literature, and I hope my students will, too. We’ll read it, discuss it, respond to it, but study it? “Marry, heaven forbid.”

Ann Coulter on Sarah Palin

Ah, the old-fashioned marketing plug, which aired on CBS News on November 13.

Writer’s tip: Get others, especially those with media prominence, to plug your stuff.

You Betcha! Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue

You can learn something about writing from Sarah Palin. Well, not writing actually, but marketing, which is tantamount in the boom-and-bust world of commercial book publishing.

Her plan of attack (or, as one editor rightly calls it, her “media blitz“):

Interview with Barbara Walters. Check.

Interview with Oprah. Check.

Stoke subdued outrage in the McCain camp. Check.

Counter the leak to the Associated Press. Check.

Voice outrage over a Runner’s World shot that became Newsweek’s front cover. Double check.

Complete month-long book tour that deliberately avoids big cities. Underway.

Sarah Palin’s not an author. She’s a brand–but a brand that sells.

Writer’s Tip: Be a brand.

A Post on the Inevitable Sarah Palin

CBS News on Going Rogue: An American Life (I apologize if there’s a commercial–it’s CBS’s financial opportunism, not mine):

Writer’s Tip: If you wanna be president in 2012, publish a book. Writing it optional.

Barbara Kingsolver: The Lacuna

Ms. Kingsolver’s thirteenth and latest novel, The Lacuna, has hit shelves, and its publicity campaign is full speed ahead.

It’s her least favorite part of the writing process. Though reportedly animated and engaging during interviews, Kingsolver shies away from limelight. She told The Age, an Australia-based publication,

”I’m much too shy to be a public person. But I think shyness goes with writing. I am the person standing by the wall, watching the person who is dancing with the lampshade on his head, and I am taking it all in and wondering, ‘What happened to him? I bet his mother didn’t love him.”

Writer’s tip: Observe your own environment shrewdly. Your eye for detail will transfer to your writing.

In that same interview, Kingsolver shares her views on novel writing, which must center around a big idea. That big idea may take years to incubate. She explains,

“It’s an audacious act to create something that you are going to ask people to take into their lives. It requires a degree of reverence. It also requires a lot from me… so I want to make sure it’s a big idea that I think is very important, that I think is worth my time and, more importantly, worth yours.”

Writer’s tip: Write about big ideas. Anything less is a waste of time.